Mumbai Monsoon Madness: A Drama in Drenched Acts 🎭

Rain-crazy Mumbaikars, gather ‘round! Today’s episode of “Will It Never Stop?” kicks off with plot twists, waterlogging, and monorail madness. Here’s how our city turned into an epic outdoor aquarium in just 36 hours. Spoiler: the sequel’s not looking dry either.

Record-Breaking Rain, Because Why Not?

Mumbai pulled a dramatic flex by lashing out 409 mm of rain in 36 hours—making Vikhroli the poster child for soggy suburbs. Meanwhile, six people tragically lost their lives, and nearly 300 were rescued amidst the deluge. Monsoons: 1, Mumbai: 0.

Metro In Dino?

Local trains? Non-existent. Monorail? Overcrowded and powerless. Over 782 unlucky souls were rescued after feeling less like commuters, more like trapped sardines.
For nine long hours, Mumbai’s lifeline stood still, causing mass existential dread—and fatalism on the platform.

Let’s Go Swimming

I’m sure everyone by now has seen that Oberoi Mall video where some kids are swimming outside the mall, but the best part is more sobo people now know Oberoi Mall “kidhar padta hai”.

Schools: Open or Holiday? The Great Misinformation Game.

Rumor mill said “schools closed,” but the BMC said, “Nice try, but nope, that’s fake news.” So yes—schools are open, much to students’ chagrin. Meanwhile, University of Mumbai said “Not today,” postponing exams.

Whatever the situation may be, my Niece and Nephew are very happy, there is no homework, school is online since Monday, and even Friday was a holiday.

Alerts, Alarms & Water Everywhere

An orange alert for Mumbai and a red one for Thane, Palghar, Raigad, Ratnagiri—basically “don’t leave your house unless you have a snorkel.”
IMD practically screamed that the next three hours were the “most crucial,” so maybe just stay on your couch.

Flip-Flops or Raft? No One Knows.

The Mithi River flirted dangerously with its “danger mark,” forcing evacuations in slum zones. BMC voluntarily pumped out enough water to fill—wait for it—twice the capacity of Tulsi Lake. Because pumps are now heroes.

Pro Tip for Mumbai Today

Monsoons 1, Transport 0: Your commute is basically a water sport.
School Kids: You’re going eventually, count your days. The rumor of a holiday was just internet wishful thinking.
Stay Inside: With alarms, alerts, and water films everywhere, best just stream Pyaar Ka Punchnama at home.
Umbrella Sharpness: 999 mm in a day? Not quite 2005, folks, but we’ve seen it before—and still no major drainage reboot.

Disclaimer

This post is pure satire—a comic umbrella in a monsoon of news. Please refer to official sources (IMD, BMC, University) for updates on safety, school timings, and travel. May your shoes stay dry, and your spirit even drier.